Posts Tagged ‘self’
Make it Part of Your Identity
Posted on: October 10, 2012
Recently, I officially bought my package to study and take the Personal Trainer Certification Exam.. I have 180 days to complete the exam.
I’m pumped! I chose NASM (National Academy of Sports Medicine)- I read it is widely accepted, pays well in most gyms, and has strong ties to science.
With that said, today’s advice is, when you are trying to achieve something:
Make it part of your Identity
You undoubtedly associate yourself with variety of things. Especially in our teenage years, we struggle to find out what type of people we are. We use our surroundings- friends, family, what we do, how we act, what people think of us- to try and come up with a conclusive self. In adulthood, we learn to look within, but sometimes we do not shed the beliefs that we snagged up along the way. They may have served their purpose and are now old news to our wiser selves. We have quite literally outgrown our younger beliefs and need to reexamine them in order to grow further.
At the very peak, you can associate with your body and say “I am a fat person” or “I am a skinny person.” Then you can associate with your wants/desires: we have “I am a chocolate lover,” “I am addicted to ___,” “I love fast food.” Then, as teens do, you can view your actions and identify with them: “I always eat dessert after dinner,” “I eat in my car.” It definitely helps to explore these beliefs and become aware of our pitfalls. However- there is a better way. Fortunately, we can fast track our success and counter our negative beliefs by a simpler route.
Pick New Beliefs:
Act first, and the true belief will come.
A lot of traditional couch therapy focuses on delving into old beliefs in order to shed them. However, if you have nothing to replace them with- you are left with awareness but no way to apply it. Instead, what if we deliberately begin to add in new beliefs about ourselves to our current belief systems?
1. Stop focusing on what you think you can’t change
2. Choose what you WANT to believe about yourself.
3. Act accordingly.
If you decide you want to be a healthy eater, you have to believe that about yourself. You have to retrain your consciousness to believe health is part of your identity.
You can use the following statements to reinvent yourself:
“I am,” I love,” “I like,” and “I act”
“I am a healthy eater, I like choosing healthy foods, I love the feeling of eating clean, and I choose these foods every day.”
The choice to add self-serving beliefs into your routine will force out beliefs that need to be shed. Choose wisely and consciously.
Supplemental Information and Reading:
http://www.nasm.org (National Academy of Sports Medicine)
Mindset – C. Dweck
Reinventing the Body, Resurrecting the Soul – Deepak Chopra
The Body Fat Solution – Tom Venuto
1. You’re going to do it anyway
Comparing ourselves to another person is natural. Human brains categorize everything; it’s how we make sense of life. The act of comparison is just one of the ways we organize our reality.
2. It is a great mirror
No matter what you see in another person, that quality is part of you. How would you recognize signs of anger, for example, if you hadn’t ever experienced it yourself? Your reactions to others are directly due to your projections onto them. They are a reflection of YOU. Of your values, of your highest goals, of your hidden desires, and of the parts of you you don’t want to acknowledge in yourself. Start looking at others in this light- as an extension of yourself, and it can change your entire existence.
3. It can force you to look within
Being around others is a great way to perform self-checks and tune into our inner dialogue. Checking your reactions to others can be your tool to catching yourself in negative self talk. If you are someone who tends to focus on the other person, remember: Sometimes, we may think we are judging the other person, when really we are judging ourselves. Try to watch your thought patterns, as well as engage yourself in the practice of extending love to those whom your attention is drawn.
4. Jealousy is admiration in disguise
There are two forms of social comparison: upward (comparing to a celebrity) and downward (“there’s always someone worse off than me”). Take a close look at someone you feel jealous toward. How do you react? You may feel discouraged and make excuses for yourself, or spiteful and try to put the other person down. However, if you get down to it- jealousy is admiration of another human being. If you look at the 5 people you are most jealous of, you will find aspects of your highest self. Somewhere inside you, you know you could embody those qualities. If you are jealous of an inspirational fitness model who does youtube videos, you know that you possess the potential to be that.
5. Seeing others’ efforts is motivating
Upward social comparison serves a great purpose. Once you’ve realized that you have the potential to embody the traits you admire, comparing yourself to others can be extremely motivating. Just think- someone else did it! Someone else reached YOUR goal. A normal human being pushed him or herself to the limits and got there.. when you recognize they’re at the finish line you want to be closer to, you start to push yourself harder.
5. It’s enlightening
Allowing yourself to compare to others and then becoming aware of it can make you more conscious of who you surround yourself with. “But I’m better than them!” can be a tricky way to make excuses and stay static. If you are healthy, but not at your goal weight, and you hang out with friends who are overweight and not concerned.. you may be better-than-average, but you know deep down you are not the-best-you-can-be. Paying attention to who you’re around will allow you to make lifestyle changes to be the best you of your whole world, not just the best of your small community.
6. It’s humbling
When used in the right context, “There are others who have it way worse than I do,” can be a tool for altruism and gratitude. Gratitude, across all faiths and all psychologies, is your fast-track to fulfillment.
7. It’s interesting
Differences make the world go round. Uniqueness is a universal trait. Comparing and recognizing another person’s differences makes you aware of just what fantastic variations of humans we all are. Embracing another’s differences is like looking at puzzle pieces and seeing how they fit into the synergy of life.
8. It gives you more to choose from
If everyone was stuck in the same old routine, how would anyone know that life could be different? If misery loves company, and no-one ever lived a happy, fulfilled life– how would we know that life is possible?
9. We are all one.
Recognize the way your lives connect and are affected by others. When it comes down to it, we are all part of one big whole.
Even the word “darkness” can invoke a twinge of unease that we may not be conscious of. Yet we all have what some writers have coined a “shadow self.” The great thing is, when you shed light on the aspects of yourself that bring you guilt, shame, embarassment, or anger, you have conquered them. Simply by awareness, you can bring yourself freedom.
Today’s practice:
Listen intently to things you don’t want to hear.
You may do this by:
Paying attention to ideas and concepts of yourself that you shy away from
Paying attention to things that offend or disgust you
Not shying away from things that disgust you
Writing a list of words you can’t stand and reading it
Listening to people you consider annoying, irritating
Acknowledging some of your bad habits e.g. I am a smoker, I am overweight, I can’t control my eating (but remember to please do this with AWARENESS and peace, not judgement- judgment will force you to become defensive or shy away from admitting these things to yourself.)
Sit with these words, concepts, or feelings for a while today.
Feel the sensations of anger or discomfort. When you feel the urge to “turn away” – whether that is in your head or actually with your head- don’t. Be conscious of the tightness in your body. Your throat, your back, and your shoulders may get tight and tingly. The point here is to allow the feelings to come over you, become aware of them, and let them be.
The Payoff: Freedom
You will feel a sense of lightness from becoming aware of the subtle negative energy that has been captured in the things you reject. Pushing them away and denying their existence hinders your growth process. When you bring them to light, you are bringing them to you, accepting them as part of what made you who you are.
More importantly, you are opening up to your excuses. When you are aware of what’s holding you back instead of turning away from it, you are able to make the changes that will lead to the person you know you could be.
Headstrong Health: The Psychology of Getting Fit 